good day

i've held off on the black till just now
when a waiter made me sigh
because he was proud of his baby
and wanted to show me her picture -- Mae Rose.

it unwound me,
despite an otherwise very good day.

i wonder if
i had some other face
i'd be a mother by now;
the same brain
but less temptation.

less to woo.

that would trim down the insincere suitors
and their devastating insinuations - I begin to think:

dumped, duped, dammit.
despite the depth of trenches,
something about it pierces me.

already my skin is thickening up, nonchalant, unsurprised
and somewhat relieved