This had better be worth it.

Graduate school is both so deeply nourishing, and yet such a bother.

I would like to apologize to my loved ones, because they are constantly subjected to my rather manic opinions on the subject. Perhaps if I blare it on a blog, I will magically heal my list of irritations.

Here is what annoys me.

Sitting still in classes for 3 hours at a time.
Professors who only know how to talk for 3 hours at a time.
Professors who are supposed to be your advisor who prefer that you email them, not actually talk to them.
Depending on said professors for letters of recommendation.
Loans, obviously.
Concerns that my supposed artsiness will at any moment be unmasked by true artists.
Having no time to work out.
Having no time for hangovers.
Having no time to paint or draw.
Having no time to learn a new hobby, like how to play an instrument that would accompany all my fanciful lyrics.
Having no time for a social life, even though there are probably loads of great people around me.
Laying in a bed that remains empty, even though I'm dead sexy.
Missing my friends.
Knowing my friends are just hanging out, and miss me.
Having to dress sensibly.
Going blind from computer usage.
The feeling that real life is going on somewhere else.
The fear that this won't pay off (financially or personally).
Utter, complete fear about the future (no jobs, recession, recession!!!)
Paralyzing fear about the future (where will I live? will I be forced to stay here??)
Crippling doubt about my decision to be here (gone are 2 more childbearing years)
General dislike of city aesthetics and populus
My neighborhood is as quiet as a cemetary
Lack of cats in neighbourhood
Stupid homework that distracts me from the studying I could do perfectly well on my own, but for which I am forced to buy a degree
Stupid internship applications which feel like rejections waiting to happen b/c I secretly don't deserve happiness or any opportunities

... maybe that's it.

Here is what I like.

Teaching Humanities (wonderful, wonderful secret of life).
Listening to professors talk about the humanities.
Plentiful internet access.
Adobe Creative Suite, which I wish I could buy and have at home.
My appartment and roommate.
People in my program are pretty cool.
Being mistaken for an artist by real artists.
Galleries and exhibits and artsy shit is now, officially, my business.
Dressing like a hipster and being told I look cute.
Interesting research on things like postmodernism and marketing.
Cool professors who give you high fives and run practical classes.
Caffeine.
Health insurance.
Running around campus just enough so that I do not turn into a fat cow.
Sometimes I look cute in eyeglasses.
The brittle but tasty idea that I'm improving my life somehow, and some day it'll all be worth it.
I can always say I tried
People my age who are married and have stable jobs are probably total losers