lazy days

i don't know what to do with myself on a free day anymore -- the freedom of a mostly empty schedule is overwhelming, like too much Montana sky.

So here's a list for reference of things I can do:
Pick up one of those undergrad tomes and read something profound
write a letter to a loved/liked one
pull out the paints
look at my pictures
bloggity blog
work the abs
cook leisurely, large meal
buy fresh herbs
find a bike path
rent a movie / popcorn with butter and brewer's yeast
light candles
stretch
groom
impromptu fashion show
boring life paperwork
cross stitch in my favorite armchair
take pictures of trees and things
drink nice tea
bake a dessert
develop pictures and put them into yet another heavy but meaningful scrapbook
mess about with artsy collage stuff
listen to music
listen to French radio
lay in bed
read on the porch (weather permitting)
slather self in nice smelling lotions
tint my hair
write a poem (infinitley the most difficult when one is not inspired)
and so on.

With such a vast list, I should surely feel comforted.

Thematic point of interest: this is the list of a single woman. I'm greedy with my time, and never anticipate that I will be sharing my time with anyone at all. Of course I have a lot of lovely friends, but they have their own lives to live and as you can see there's not a lot of room for socialization in many of these self-starter fun time projects.

Many people probably wonder why I don't have a boyfriend. I guess I don't really miss the experience. I don't miss trading in my free time for "quality time" in which my boyfriend drinks and drunkenly watches TV, or feels obliged to 'go do something' when there's nothing wrong with sitting around, sober, doing small, lazy things.

Neither do I want a man who wants to cross-stitch, mind you. I guess at the end of the day, the only thing that interests me about romantic relationships with men is their potential to be meaningful and long-term -- otherwise, they're an annoying distraction in which I'll usually end up fucked and chucked. I'm vaguely envious that anyone out there believes that relationships can be anything else -- I guess I'm only a tiny bit hopeful that one of these days, I'll meet someone who wants to sit around and drink tea in bed with me (and only me), for the rest of our short lives.

In the meantime: relationships are a bother. I have to much to do.